Claim/Assumption Paper

I found the claim/assumption thought paper assignment really interesting and while I don't feel like rewriting the paper, kind of want to explore some of the notes that Celia wrote in the margins.

The claim I tried to uphold was that men are taught to be more focused on their own interests, on their physical selves, while women are taught to focus more on others. I went at the issues from a heterosexual standpoint, with the assumption that there are only two sexes, men and women. Through the paper I worked on identifying the source of this behavior (I decided it was learned, primarily from parents, and other adults that form society) and what boys are taught about gender roles and what girls are taught about gender roles. Both are taught by the mother, generally, that the female takes care of the children, putting children's needs before her own in the form of feeding, education and staying at home to care for the child when and if that is required. Whereas the father works outside the home to provide food and finances, and potentially discplinary actions, which I did not define.

At this point, Celia commented that early socialization is the key- I agree. Yes, I think that what you learn from watching your parents interact with each other, what roles they play in the family, the manner in which they provide for the family, all of these things shape how young boys and girls view their gender role as well as the opposite.

I look at my family and how my brother and I view our future roles and the roles of our future spouses. My mother outranks my father in terms of level of education but he outranks her in terms of financial contribution. When Alex (my brother) and I were little, it was my mother's job (at home... she was a school teacher at the same time) to make sure we had all our basic needs taken care of- breakfast lunch and dinner, brushed our teeth and bathed, clothes appropriately for school, had our homework done. She was also responsible for laundry, cleaning, cooking and shopping for our family needs. As far as discipline went, the ultimate threat was "Do you want your father to know about this?". She would spank us, put us in time out, ground us from certain activities we enjoyed, but that question, if nothing else, put us back in line real quick. My father, from my childhood memories, worked away from the home, usually in another state. He would come home on the weekends and would usually play with us on Saturday and attend church with us on Sunday before he would head back to work in another state. My mom took care of us; my father took care of her and us financially but was not involved in our daily lives.

What does Alex expect from his wife? Well, I'm fairly certain he expects her to clean, cook, do the laundry and take care of the kids, because that's what my mom always did. And he'll work. I don't know if he plans on working in the same town/state in which his family lives.

What do I expect from my husband? What do I expect of myself as a wife/mother? This is something that concerns me. I don't know. My mom was willing to be very domestic and still pursue her career as a school teacher. However, that career was fairly suitable to raising school aged children, especially since we all went to the same school. But my dreams are very different from her's. I want to work abroad, in developing nations. Where I have been are not areas suitable, in my opinion, for raising children. I don't want to raise children in a conflict and/or war zone nor in a place where child mortality is outrageously high. Yet, I can't see myself doing what my father did and seeing my children for 2 days a week (I would see them even less with international not just interstate travel being the issue). Besides that, where would I find a man who would be willing to be the domestic half of the equation. I have been taught that the mother/wife needs to be more of the day to day caregiver and fix her work schedule around her family schedule. Yet I have dreams that completely contradict that. I have yet to find a balance between what I have been taught and what I want. It's an uncomfortable place to be. Most days I decide not to think about it- I still have plenty of time to find the answers, right?


My paper continued, but that was the big question, for me, that remains unanswered and undefined. The second question Celia brought to my attention was the definition of the self. I'll save that discussion for a possible future post.